the past few weeks i have been in a funk. my normal creative outlets such as this blog, and my business have been bringing me this feeling of i have to do these things instead of wanting to do them. i normally never feel this way especially when it comes to throwing dinner parties, coming up with menus, and occasionally blogging. but i find myself staring at empty menu proposals, empty blog screens, and so on. the inspiration and motivation just have not been there. at least not on the level it normally is. not really sure what has been going on, but i think im slowly on the up and up. last week I had a small dinner party for 6 to do and for the first time in the last few months i have had that feeling that i am in the right place doing the right thing. sometimes when you have these big things you are trying to accomplish in your life and things don't seem to be going as planned you sometimes loose sight of why you are doing what you are doing. but as i had the dessert baking, and linens going down, and designing menus cards i actually had a moment of appreciation for myself and what i do. i know that sometimes people don't think my life aspirations are anything to pursue and sometimes i wonder if i am even any good at what i want to do but i think i am probably my biggest critic. i always feel like it could have been better, it could have looked better, the food could have been even better, i could have done more. if i only had more time, more money, not a full time job, not a social life, not a life period then it could have been so much better. then i remember that i am juggling all of those things plus some. we all can be so hard on ourselves instead of stepping back and seeing everything we do and the appreciating all the effort we put into things. so hopefully the funk is coming to an end. and hopefully we can all learn to be a little less critical of ourselves sometimes.
|from last weeks holiday inspired dinner|
hope you have a simply thoughtful thursday